Gene Splicing Now A Reality

It seems that gene-splicing has become a reality. Now all those old jokes about crossing a parrot with a centipede are within the realm of possibility. Here are a few examples:

• Cross an Indian monkey with a vine of the legume family and a plant with yellow cup-shaped flowers will give you Rhesus Peanut Buttercup.

• Cross a Sasquatch and a baboon. It's a Sassoon, which lurks in the suburbs at night, catches unwary women and styles their hair.

• Cross an armadillo with a hammerhead shark and keep your fridge smelling fresh. It's an Arm & Hammerhead shark.

• Cross a male grouse with a female dog and you get a bird dog that's always complaining, a Grouse-and-Bitch.

• Cross a parrot with an alligator and when the Parrigator asks you for a cracker, you'd be well advised to give it one.

• Crossing a sheep dog and a baby of the carp family will get you a Shag-Carpette.

• Splice the genes of 63,360 inchworms and you get a Mile-Worm.

• An Impossabull is what you get when you make a three-way cross between an impala, a possum and a bull. It's a 2000 lb. antelope that hangs from trees and drops down on unsuspecting matadors.

• Here's an interesting five-way cross. An Alaskan King Crab, a kingfisher, a jackrabbit, a jackass and a jackal gives you a Full House.

• Cross a rabbit with an amoeba gives you an Amoebit. It can multiply and divide at the same time.

• Cross a grasshopper and a hippopotamus, and you get a Grasshoppapotamus. It's a short-lived creature that can leap to tremendous heights.... once.

• A coyote and an ass. This results in a Doncoyote. An ass that brays at windmills and tilts at the moon.

• Cross a lion and an ocelot and you get a political animal. It's a Lialot, close relative of the Cheetalot.

• Cross a racehorse with a hog and you get a Thoroughpig.

• Cross a sheep with a porcupine and you get a Sheepupine. It not only supplies you with wool but will also knit you a sweater.

• Here's one from the sixties. It travels in packs, searching for grass and other kinds of dope. Cross a male sheep, a baby sheep, an Australian wild dog and a donkey. It's Aram-Alam-Ading-Donk.

• A combination of a lamprey eel and a baboon created at a famous American college gives you the Harvard Lampoon.

• Two very dull fish, a grouper and a porgy produces some very interesting results. A Grouporgy.

• A coward and a hyena gives you the laughing stock of the party, the Cowena.

• Cross a snake with a canary and you get a bird that sings with a lisp. A Snary.

• Cross a lamb with a camel to produce sweaters with bumps especially for the ladies, a Lamel.

• Here's one from the flora domain. Cross the aloe and baby's breath to get the ingredients for the French aphrodisiac, the Aloebaby.

• Cross a donkey with a Doberman and you get the Asspinscher, the dog who thinks he's a goose.

• Incidentally, the cross between a parrot and a centipede mentioned earlier will get you a Walkie-Talkie.

(Author unknown....)

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